Bart van Es
Fig Tree 2018
Penguin 2019
5 stars
This beautifully written book
that explores the feelings of being a hidden child during the holocaust and the
psychological trauma she lived with. Bart,
an oxford historian, realizes a family member, Lien, does not figure in family
histories. His grandmother and Lien had a terrible row and she cut off contact.
Bart approaches Lien by email. He befriends her and she tells her story. She
was a Jewish child in Amsterdam and is hidden by his family in Central Holland
during the second world war. She retells her story and we experience it thorough
her eyes. She was 8 when her parents gave her for safe keeping to their friends. On her 9th birthday she heard from them but then silence.
He captures the pain she experienced, silence, then tears. She had forgotten a lot. It was not easy being a refugee, she had to
work almost as a house maid in one home. She and another refugee escaped at one
point. She did not understand what was happening, then become silent and
withdrawn, then a slow anger built up, initially she was warm but then hot.
Feeling unwanted was a major part of her experience. Aged 12 she was raped
frequently by a family uncle. After the war she worked in child care and then
trained as a social worker. When she did
talk about her rape it was acknowledged by the family but not acted upon. She had different religions, brought up
Jewish, then followed Dutch reform, at university she joined the Jewish student
society. She married a Jew Albert and enjoyed the Jewish rituals. She is now Bhuddist.
She repressed many feelings, it
was all too painful. Later in life she
acknowledged her refugee status. She takes Bart to Schouwberg, the departure
point for Dutch Jews to the concentration camps and they look at her parents
names. She was helped by a conference in Amsterdam for child refugees and the
conversations it opened up. The then
mayor of Amsterdam was himself a child refugee. She makes peace at Auschwitz by
performing Buddhist rituals there over a week with her Dutch friends.
She was v sensitive to being
excluded by the family. At her wedding
she was surprised that people were joking “is the husband Albert good enough
for our Lien?”. She was hurt being excluded from the family funeral
announcements of Pa Heromas death. She had
a small birthday party that she did to mention to Ma Heroma. The two then exchanged angry letters, Lein
wrote that she felt a second rate person in the family. Ma heroma had no
further contact with her. These letters one can write because it an emotional
release but one should not send them because they can hurt so much.
Bart the historian is
fascinated by Lein’s story, he backs up his work academically checking on the
files of Dutch informers. Through his
interest he gains Lein’s trust. She visits Oxford and meets his family. In her her
Amsterdam flat and she introduces him to her friends as “my nephew who will
write my story”. The detective work has produced family healing.
Occasionally there is too
much background, such as the description of the Dutch informers, it gives useful
context. His fluent Dutch makes him at home there.
There are two journeys in
this book; Lien’s story of being a child in hiding, and van Esses story of getting
Lein to talk, the background research that he did on Dutch informers. It is his
journey in writing the book. Bridges
have been rebuilt within the family. He describes his visits to Holland, seeing the
towns and understanding Dutch history well.
Being half Dutch there were
many personal resonances for me in the book. I recognized the grandparents generation
and the academic exploring Holland. My mother repressed her PoW experience, she
was in Japanese prisoner of war camp aged 18-20. She coped by rarely talking
about the experience. It made her a
survivor when she faced problems.
So I admire Bart van Esse in
getting his aunt to talk about her experience. My mother kept her story inside.
